I cannot believe it has been a month. A month filled with tears. A month filled with grief and heartbreak. A month filled with a big hole. A month filled with sweet memories and stories. A month filled with kindness of so many people. A month filled with questioning and longing. A month filled with being cold and moving slowly. A month filled with "what now?". A month of bad sleep and bad dreams. A month filled with "WHY?!!!" A month filled with lighting candles. A month filled with seeing Chloe's pictures everywhere. A month of wearing Chloe's clothes and jewelry and remembering. A month of longing to have a conversation with her - at least one more conversation! A month of listening to music that Chloe liked and crying. A month of clinging to those that are still here. A month of worrying - what next Lord?! A month wondering what does our life look like now that she is gone? A month of the constant headache and waves of nausea. A month where time is both flying and not moving. A month of realizing how much space Chloe took up in this world. A month of the world not being right. A month of not knowing how to answer the question - how are you doing?. A month of literally being held up by the prayers of so many people! A month of decisions I never thought I would have to make. A month of awkward conversations with strangers. A month of eating some of her favorite foods - salmon, brussels, caesar salad, broccoli, pork tenderloin, risotto. A month of visitors bringing kindness and love and gifts and food and hugs. A month of texts and phone calls of friends near and far.
A few random pictures -past and present.
Wednesdays and the 3rd will always feel impossible -- impossible that Chloe, so full of life, is no longer here. Praying for you extra hard on those days, that you would feel some warmth in the midst of all the cold. I love you, my beautiful and brave friend. ❤️